Surefire Steps to Becoming Head Monitor: Results Guaranteed!
by The Milton Measure on Friday, April 8th, 2016
Rap Blackilicious’ Alphabet Aerobics as your speech.
Pay Capital Crew to be featured on one of their tracks.
Make an inappropriate joke in your speech in front of the
Write Avery Park’s (I) Bio DYO so she’ll endorse you.
Make an Insta marketing your campaign.
Make an Insta trashing the other candidate’s campaign. #TheSchusDon’tFit #BecauseFeetTooBig #BigFeetBigPlans
Promise to upgrade to Flik Gold.
Pass out Dunkin on the day of your big speech.
Promise to build a wall separating the freshman section
of the Student Center. They’ll pay for it.
Take speech-giving lessons from Mr. Ball.
Find your spirituality. It’ll increase your IQ.
Spray-tan yourself orange and dye your hair blue
to show your Milton spirit.
Take a campaign trip to Asia with Mr. Bland.
Show slideshow of small African child you saved
for just 15 cents a day.
Dab at the end of your speech.
Pay The Measure to write a great profile about you.
Or pay The Paper; they need the money more.
Short URL: http://miltonmeasure.org/?p=7885