Hey Big Lou, how do I survive Parents’ Day?
by Louie Demetroulakos on Friday, October 17th, 2014
You have come to right place my friend. Parents’ Day can be a lot of fun if you make your parents feel special. Don’t worry about answering every question in class or having your parents tell the teacher to call on you. All you need to do to survive Parents’ Day is garb yourself in camouflage and convince your parents that 4th 5th and 6th period classes are optional for them because of lunch. That leaves you with 1-3 and 7-8 for potential disaster. But, if you play your cards right and tell your parents that morning assembly starts at 9 am, you will only have to take them to three classes. Surviving Parents’ Day can be as complex as a military operation, but for our purpose today we will make it that way. I would suggest mapping out possible escape routes throughout campus. For example, if you are in English class, take your parents down the back stairway near admissions so they have no opportunity to embarrass you in the hallway. Try to cross the street while there is minimal traffic and, in an effort to distract your parents, begin telling them how you have made friends with all the campus safety officers. If you follow these basic rules, you should make it through the day unscathed. But that brings me to your biggest challenge: LUNCH. Do not panic, young soldier; lunch is in the ACC on Parents’ Day, but that means even more space for other people to see your parents embarrass you. As I mentioned earlier, a camouflage shirt and pants with a pair of dark sunglasses will serve you well at lunch. Not only will you be hidden from the penetrating gazes of your peers and their parents, but you will also divert attention away from your parents. Remind your parents before school starts that your name is [whatever you are called at school] and not the various pet names you were called as a child. Additionally, it would be great if you actually did raise your hand in class and answer a few questions. While this may be a daunting idea, it will certainly — actually maybe not at all — prevent your parents from pestering you in class. Having enjoyed two Parents’ Days myself, I wish you the best of luck in your conquest today.
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