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The Milton Measure

Day in the Life of a Senior and Freshman

by on Friday, October 3rd, 2014
FRESHMAN
6:30 Wake up with the wind beneath your wings and a song in your heart, ready to tackle the day
7:30 Arrive to campus with ample time for a pre-school study session
8:20 Arrive to class with color coded binders, labeled folders, pencil case, and a smile
8:21 Actually pay attention
8:30 Laugh at teacher’s joke
9:10 Hand cramp from taking so many notes first period
9:11 Hear Senior use the word “muggs” in conversation
9:12 Confused as to why senior called his friend “a cup for warm beverages”
9:15 Carry rolling backpack up steps of Ware
10:02 Get trampled in cave
10:04 Still wait for help
11:00 Hit puberty
12:00 Get in line for food
12:45 Get food
1:30 Find note in snack pouch from your mom telling you how wonderful you are
1:35 Deeply stare at senior crush in the hallway
3:00 Write perfect application to the public issues board
3:30 Wait in line for an open stall in the locker room to change in
3:35 Try out for Freshman Football: the first step towards becoming an All-American

5:59 Run to bus
6:02 Miss bus

6:03 Cry
6:05 Start setting up tent on the quad
6:50 Keep yourself warm as Forbes dining hall goes up in flames for 3rd time today
8:00 Instagram the sunset. Get 3 likes. Go to bed feeling loved. #instafamous
SENIOR
7:55 Wake up. Pick up clothes from floor- inspect for foul smell. Febreze. Put on.
8:00 Asleep on the highway
8:20 Play “My Humps” for perfect roll-up song
8:21 Arrive to campus
8:22 Regret. Should have played “Fergalicious” for roll-up song
8:23 Arrive to class “forgetting the homework”
8:25 Contemplate meaning of “My Humps”
8:28 Realize you forgot pants
9:15 Try to avoid eye contact with all ex-hookups on steps of Ware
10:00 Inspect young prey from above
10:01 Suddenly feel dehydrated
11:00 Groom facial hair for 3rd time today
12:00 Get in line for food
12:01 Get food
1:30 Get email from College Board reminding you that you suck
1:35 Shove that creepy freshman who looked at you
3:00 Take nap in the locker room
3:30 Get butt naked in locker room with all your senior friends
3:31 Consider getting naked as possible career path if school doesn’t work out
6:00 Leave campus
6:02 Play “Fergalicious” as roll-out song. Realize your life will never be Fergalicious.
6:03 Cry
6:05 Asleep on the highway

6:50 Watch Project X and imagine what life is like on the other side
8:00 Instagram a red solo cup to pretend you have a social life (it’s filled with apple juice… and tears)

Short URL: http://miltonmeasure.org/?p=6467

Posted by on Oct 3 2014. Filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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