Best Ways to Embarrass Your Kid On Parents’ Day
by The Milton Measure on Friday, October 25th, 2013
Promote the Swap-it Dance by wearing a tutu and leotard all day.
Sing along to the a cappella performance at morning assembly.
Discuss your son’s conception in Biology.
Ask every senior you see where they’re applying to college.
…then tell them that you’re the alumni interviewer for that school.
Run out of the freshman section, yelling to your daughter that you found her the perfect man.
Don the mustang suit at the Milton Football game.
Call sanctuary on a kid eating a brownie in Forbes.
Give pointers to a couple in the midst of PDA.
Slip your child’s college counselor a $20.
Comment on the remarkable diversity every time you encounter a student of color.
Loudly ask your child why none of the senior girls go to lunch.
Compare Moby Dick to Fifty Shades of Grey in an English class discussion.
Ask an ISS member for a condom.
Bring your lawyer to a parent-teacher conference.
Graffiti “DAD WAS HERE” on a Harkness table.
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