You Know You’re a Milton Student When…
by The Milton Measure on Friday, May 18th, 2012
1.You create anonymous social networking accounts in your spare time.
2.You’ve spent 90% of your time the past week creeping on boat dance pictures.
3.You’d go to the Arts and Media Center if Milton were being bombed.
4.You’ve seen “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.”
5.You pay money to dress up in other people’s old clothing and go to a dance.
6.You try to wave cars across an intersection and get frustrated when they refuse to budge.
7.Your class T-shirts cannot be worn in public.
8.You have had a crush on an English teacher.
9.You have trouble finding a safe spot in Pritzker.
10.You find one person from every race whenever you see the photo of the day guy.
11.You can name more girls’ dorms than African-American Male Faculty Members.
12.You assume the color red in a book symbolizes the double-edged sword of motherhood and the moral implications of maturity, instead of just being the color red.
13.You take Gotcha as a school equivalent of the Hunger Games.
14.You’ve perfected your imitations of “Possible, Probable…Already Happening” and “Boys enter the house.”
15.You think you’re the only one on a first-name basis with Joanne from the bookstore.
16.Your first car is a brand new jeep with rims and a custom plate.
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