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The Milton Measure

Worst Ways to Start a Head Monitor’s Speech

by The Milton Measure on Monday, April 9th, 2012

“Now it’s not that I’m a racist but…”


“So I was going through my grandparents bathroom and you can expect how surprised I was to find a giant…”


“Back when I was a child soldier for Joseph Kony…”


“Every now and again I just sit naked in my room pondering life. You may be thinking…”


“When you’re on hallucinogenic mushrooms…”


“I’ve often wondered what it feels like to be water boarded…”


“If you visit my MySpace page one thing is clear…”


“I like taking pictures of myself in panda suits. Some might say…”


“As E Money once said…”


“In the words of Joseph Stalin…”


“Over the past 3 years, I have really come to appreciate all that the old science building has to offer…”


“A wise man, Jerry Sandusky, once said…”


“It’s not that I hated JLW, I just didn’t like any of the people there…”


“Now I know what you’re all thinking, is that guy fat or pregnant?…”


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Posted by The Milton Measure on Apr 9 2012. Filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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